Bite Me »

With a body of work that boasts some of the most outlandish plots and outrageous characters ever to make it onto the printed page, Christopher Moore is rapidly making a name for himself as the clown prince of contemporary fiction. It may be a dirty job, but Moore is more than up to the task.

The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency back-up mistress of the great Bay Area night, and my mangahaired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public.

Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since they're imprisoned in a bronze statue. Their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, wants to be a bloodsucking fiend, too, but right now she's really busy with other stuff like Chet, who's getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute.

Before you can say "OMG! WTF?" Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby and the entire crew to hunt big cat and save the city. And that's when the fun really begins.

Publishers Weekly

A vampire cat is stalking San Francisco in Moore’s serviceable latest comic horror adventure (after You Suck), and the only humans who can take him down are goth girl Abby Normal and her brainiac boyfriend, Stephen “Foo Dog” Wong. They, in turn, call upon Abby’s masters, vampiric lovers Jody and Tommy, who were on the verge of breaking up until Abby decided to bronze them posed as Rodin’s The Kiss. Also in pursuit of the vampire cat and his minions are the Animals, the night stock crew at the Marina Safeway who hunt vampires in their spare time; a lunatic homeless man who calls himself the “Emperor of San Francisco”; a Japanese printmaker who wields a mean sword; and homicide detectives Rivera and Cavuto. Things become even more complicated with the arrival of three ancient vampires intent on getting some payback. The narrative could use trimming, and much of the humor seems recycled from Moore’s previous vampire tomes, though this won’t matter to the legions of fans who crave Moore’s trademark low horror and high camp. (Apr.)